I have been hit by a truck

Who says pregnant women glow? And why are we supposed to be happy all the time? If anyone has been pregnant they should know not to perpetrate this rumor. Or is it a ploy to make others suffer the same fate? And why is there no handbook or guide to pregnancy? SO many people have done it you would think they could manage a warning of some kind. Yeah there is the What To Expect books but they make it sound so pleasant, liars. Nowhere does it say the last month you will feel like you have been hit by a truck, or small train perhaps. Nowhere does it tell the horror stories of hemroids, numb itchy bellies, swollen burning hands, and severe back spasams. Evil people want you to think it's fun and you will glow. Glisten maybe from carrying 30 extra pounds, but not glow.

So the magical Dr Vlastos, or Mikee as David calls him, snipped the 'fishing line' holding her in. (Ok, and why do men have to decide the time to chat about fishing line and it's resemblance to the sutures is while there is a speculum jammed in my...and a pair of long scissors inserted to remove said suture?!?) I was hoping she'd slide right out. So much for that idea. I actually did dialate to 2cm by Wednesday and I was very excited hoping there was more dialation to come. No such luck. Dr Whalen, lovingly dubbed Tommy by the husband, said I was staedy at 2cm a nd not likely to move. Scar tissue is holding strong and I am in the midst of a Catch 22. To further move my scarred cervix I need to have some serious contractions, such as those in active labor. To get these contractions I need to be in active labor, about 4cm dialated. I'm screwed. She's never coming out now. He said my water will have to break. Yeah...

Now I am on a mission to get my water to break. I have had all the suggestions from sex to walking and what foods to eat, yadayada. But if you hadn't had sex in nearly 5 months walking would sound good to you too, and much less painful even with the horrible back spasams. So April 12th-ish he said he will break my water, a whopping week early, if it h asn't done so already. He is convinced it will break in the next week. He was also convinced I wouldn't stay pregnant until February and then that as soon as the cerclage came out so would baby. So don't put any money on anything quite yet.

Anyway, as you can tell I am irritated and quite crabby 24/7 now. I am uncomfortable, I can't sleep, and I am done being pregnant. I have said that for awhile now but I want her out. Yes I want to see her face and hold her and all that jazz but I really would like my body back now PLEASE. I can't see my feet, really. Or anything below my belly for that matter. It's horrible having to have your husband shave for you. Legs and...all the other stuff. Kills the nerves.

Alright, I am going to attempt to sleep. Wish me luck, I am goin gto need a LOT of it.

5 Months Is A Long Time

A very long time. I am pretty sure that everyone that reads this knows what is going on with me though. I am home now, Feb 22 actually. Been hanging out and not really staying in bed like I am supposed to but at this point if she is coming then so be it. We finally have everything! Crib, bassinet, changing table, high chair, bouncy seat, car seat, stroller, sling, diaper bag (huge point of contention with hubby man), clothes, diapers, wipes, socks, hats, bottles, oh my good lord babies require a lot of stuff. It was expensive stocking up, and yes I know it will continue to be expensive, but now that all the big stuff is done I feel a lot more ok about all of this.

Jade is excited. She was here while we put the crib together and I think she may have realized she really was going to have to share her room and her space as her room shrunk considerably after it was in one piece. Thank goodness we will all fit in here ok though. We were afraid we weren't going to be able to get a 2 bedroom, that would have been a very interesting problem. But there is lots of space, well for people not for all of our junk.

Ok, so last time I had an ultrasound....March 1, she was 5 lbs 4 oz. I go every week for monitoring and then another day every week to see my doctor. March 21 is the magic date for snipping. 2pm the stitch comes out and we see what happens. My OB is convinced she'll be here in a day or two and the perinatologist isn't so sure. I just want to see her pretty little face, and find out who it is that has had their gigantor toes lodged in my ribs the last week or so. She moons everyone a lot. Because of the bicorniate uterus (2 pieces and she only gets one) she's in like half a uterus making it very cramped very early. So, as she is head down, toes in the ribs, and facing in her butt sticks out. When she moves or stretches or anything this little bump pokes out of my belly and it is definately a butt. It was funny because I was reading something about mommies to be and it asks if you are playing name that bump with your husband yet. I laughed because we don't really have to guess since she can't move around a lot it has to be her butt. And I can push and push all day long to try and move her when it hurts and she digs in her toes more and pushes the butt out further...brat.

Ok so I have a paper I have to write. Hopefully I can do this again before she gets here. As soon as I get pics of me pregnant off t he camera and on the comp I'll post some, I just look fat not pregnant but oh well.